Faster than you can possibly blink, the seasons are changing again. Just the other day, we celebrated the fragrance of spring, the blossoming flowers and the bursting colors at the meadows. We were all looking forward to summer. And before we could say enough, fall is almost over and winter will soon be creeping in. Such too are the seasons of our lives. We laugh, We love, We cry, We smile. We even look forward to the next year.
Yet, when it comes to our lives, we seek instant gratification. No desire whatsoever for rooting and crawling and falling and failing. In fact, if we had our way, we’d go for no grazes whatsoever. Not even a single scratch as proof of a falter. We run after perfection. But why do we short-change our realities? Why do we want to live superficial lives whereas inside emptiness reigns supreme?
If you make your bed, then you have to lie on it. You cannot love a rose and hate its thorns… yet here we are, making choices and taking decisions but we don’t want to pay the price. We have become slaves to desire, greed and lust. Reasoning and the truth are a thing of the past. My people, especially we ladies; it is time we return home and retell our stories. Come on now, You! You! You! and You! and I too.
Stop letting life and your friends define you. You are the captain of your ship. Why do you allow another to decide on your life? To determine your happiness, joy, success level, what you eat, drink or even who you hang out with. How many of us today can go enjoy just the sunset view without looking over their shoulder? When was the last time you satisfied the child in you? Taking the telescope and counting the stars? Tell me… When did you last laugh out loud, honestly without a care of being right or being judged? When did you last do you?
I am sick and tired of pretenders. Who are your friends? I need us to go deep within and check ourselves. Yes, question your own loyalties too. Or are you just existing by, so you can be called ‘a good girl?’ How often have you honestly told your sister, that their hairstyle doesn’t work for them? Or that they are adding weight or loosing shape? We coyly smile and pretend all is well. In the name of protecting our friendships. Are these even friendships to start with? These are just a collection of lies. And where does this leave us, a bunch of liars, right?
Trudge the social media highways, and you will be shocked. Right now we are all busy castigating one of our own. Yes, we are God, Judge, Jury, Executioner and the famous Eye Witness. And yet we say we are our brothers/sisters keeper. Today if you fell in such a mess as Jacquie, would your friends stand with you? Who would be there to protect your children? And as you face the wrath of the screens and make the headlines, would there be soul telling of the type of friend that you have been to them? Ever been admitted to hospital, a bill has exceeded your means and you need their support. Can you count on them to turn up? Or your house is locked and you have no means to sort the situation, can they cover you?
Why do you need another to tell you that you are well dressed? I mean, you alone chose your panties, bra, outer clothing and whatever else you have on you. You know what makes you happy or satisfies your soul. If a sister misses to compliment you, you hold a grudge. Eeehhh… then what? Does that put a meal on your table or add to your beauty? The more grudges you hold the uglier you become, did you know that? Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaketh, states the good book. Yes, the truth somehow always comes out, revealing ugly spots beneath the layers of makeup.
Today however, I bring you the good news. The sun will shine again. Yes, I have been there. Right at that place where you wish the world can open and swallow you whole. You want to cry, but no tears will come. Your hope is gone, what can you do? Looking to the left and to the right, there is nowhere to turn to. Mmmhh, that place where your friends run from you like you are bringing leprosy their way. Like you stink and the stench you tag along will suffocate them. You feel more alone than you ever were in the womb.
Yes, at that place that seems the darkest, I tell you this. The sun will soon shine again. But you need to rethink and re-strategize. Ask God for a new batch of true friends. Do not be apologetic for the ones who left… Nooo. It is by their leaving, the void they left shall be filled by a better person than they. But you have to wait patiently and ask God to sieve the chuff for you. It is a painful season. Of loneliness, regrets, hurts and sometimes self-doubt. You get to question your loyalties too. But no matter how difficult it all seems right now, it too shall pass.
Today, I got to ask myself. What type of a friend am I? How protective am I of my own? To what lengths will I go to shield you? Who are my friends really? I mean, what is that which will make you deserve my loyalties, time and commitment. Friendship is after all a yoke without a price tag? How much do I allow my friends to be themselves? Come on now, you know how we do it. One minute we are laughing, the next we are sworn enemies.
Let us restart this story from the beginning; who am I? I want you to congregate with yourself. On this one you get to wear many caps. You are the chair, secretary, treasurer, department director and sergeant at arms. You must have an agenda too and when you are done, please bring home the minutes. It is time we self-review. Because until we heal from the inside out; get to accept ourselves for who we truly are. Then and only then can we be our true selves.
I pray that we get to where we are just real. Calling a spade a spade and not a big spoon. Supporting and uplifting each other come rain or shine. That if a bean fell to the ground, without fear or favor, we will gladly pick it up and share it among ourselves. I am looking for persons who will testify to real friendships. And when the sun shines, then we shall sing and dance to the victory together.