The look of bliss when my skin detaches from the bra is unexplainable. I mean, sometimes going for hours constrained in a tight thingy’ feels like jail for the little coconuts. Well, so tonight I get to ask, ‘who invented the bra and what was the idea behind their legendary invention?’ We need to know, ama we just follow trends without asking them questions? As much as they help define my dress, these little pieces of cloth are not our best friends. Let us be honest enough my dear girls.
Let us go for a study tour of those undergarments we wear to cover and support the breasts. Thanks to Mary Phelps Jacobs’ revolutionary courage, when she decided enough is enough; and out of two kerchiefs and a pink ribbon, she made the most used bra design of all time, the ‘backless bra’, and thus the bra was born. It was the epitome of comfort and style. Breaking away from the traditional corset, after all, its metals could be put to better use in the military to make weapons for the 1st World War; and the women too had begun joining the workforce and it was hard enough to work dressed in them.
A long history preceded the bra evolution but it finally snaked its way into the English Oxford Dictionary in 1911. Enid Bisset working together with William and Ida Rosenthal redesigned the bandeau bra. This was inspired upon realizing that the bra fit for one woman could not fit another. And there, the story of the cup size was born. What cup size are you if only I may ask?
Today, most if not all female fashion is set by the sexy lingerie that shields the supple mound of flesh. Whether the nipples are sharp-pointed, drooping or pointing west. How well you dress them, thus shapes your attire, giving you a sense of identity. It is the first part of your dressing men stare at if not your ass, leaving some drooling all the way to Abjaskistan. So, let us learn to make them look sexy, hot, succulent, all the while pillow-like for our babies. Give them boys too something to occupy their thoughts for a while to come; in the meantime, we retrace our steps to the chore of dressing.
How much do you know about your breast type? Are you like myself, interested to learn? I am tired of girls wearing bra designs, not for their breast size, or them sagging ones under a fitting dress – looking like the piece was borrowed. Who has seen the one with a curved band at the back? Surely, it is an eyesore. Kwanza when worn under a chiffon or silk top. Worse still combined with a thickly lined panty, the panty lines screaming, “I am here to stay, utadoo?” Then, I want to scream, just visualize that, and the wearer is in tights, a size smaller too, showcasing their wares.
Huge, tiny, rounded, sagging, whatever your type of breast, let us learn to identify them, then and only then shall we start to dress them right. They come in all shapes and sizes, each unique. Acknowledging our body shapes before we can dress up is the first step. And that journey starts here. According to ThirdLove, all our breast shapes will fall somewhere in these categories.
The Asymmetrical: For these, one breast is longer or larger than the other and are the most common. If you notice this, just know it is normal, nohingt out of this world. (dress them in push up or enhancer bras, preferably with removable pads).
The Bell Shape: These are smaller at the top and fuller toward the bottom. They tend to be heavier, more tissue with nipples facing down. (the full coverage bra is the perfect fit as the straps are firm enough to give the much-needed support).
The East-West Facing: Like the name suggests, the nipples of these breasts face outward and they have a gentle slope. (the push-up or t-shirt bra will work excellently for them as the trick is to bring them together on to the cleavage).
The Round Boobs: Ohh how we all dreamt of these, but mother nature had other plans. These are full at the top and at the bottom, with a small point nipple. (they fit in all bra styles and designs). I am still waiting for my miracle.
The Side Set: They have a wide rift in between the breast with nipples facing forward. (the bra idea is to give them a fuller look and the balconettes will do wonders. They have more fabric above the cups exactly for that fuller look we are hunting here).
The Slender: Not particularly fleshy, the slender boobs are wide at the top and rather slender to the bottom. (look out for the plunge bra as it will give them mounds a push to the middle).
The Teardrop: Like the name suggests, they are round at the bottom and slightly less in tissue amounts to the top. One can easily tell the presence of boobs from the side. (go for the plunge, the cups will uplift the deeper necklines, helping fill the gentle slope in the process).
The Conical: That pear like peeps especially for a teenager, just at the start of puberty, or like me, having to nurse them into my twenties. They are not rounded, but just having the cone shape. One struggles to fill out both the top and the bottoms as all cup sizes a just too big. (the genius here is to use pads to give the boobs a full-cup look.
Then, the Athletic: More muscular and having less tissue. (they are best seen in sports bras)
Breasts are amazing. From nourishing babies to shaping your clothes, they define our femininity. A, B, C, DD, they are classified, and somehow, we should all fit in somewhere. But here is where my problems began. After puberty, like all girls, I longed to show them off. Then some genius came with the idea of the bandeau calling it a ‘boob top’. I tell you, I did hate those things. Why could we not just stay naked and free like in the years of yonder?
I mean, look at the beauty of the traditional African woman, there is nothing to hide there. The continuous free-flow of skin is just breathtaking, to say the least, especially in that dark tan or chocolate skin.
Now imagine my predicament, all so hippy, excellent waist size then my boobs are not even a size 34B. Haha, going shopping with my mum for inner garments as they call them was a torture. Most bras padded and with underwire, I loathed them. But what is a girl supposed to do?
Today, I still struggle to go shopping for a bra. And while other girls easily ask for a size 36C. 44B or 38D, I can barely ask for a 34A. now you know why I prefer to stay without one and go for t-shirts instead of tops and dresses. However, there is a better side to it, out in the marketplace, the bra evolution continues and today, we too can get a bra too for whatever occasion.
Bra shopping doesn’t have to be boring and stressful, now that we know the shapes of our breasts, time to learn the different designs and purposes. then step out in style and comfort. the dressing revolution starts now.
Look out for the next post.