Plot 10 issues involved socialism, communism, udaku na kadhalika. However, this lasted until the ‘every man for himself God for us all’ philosophy was invented. Reason is; Listen and listen intently.

 Who ever knocks at their neighbor’s door asking for salt in the middle of the night? Or can call the neighbor’s kid and send them to the shop? You see, Capitalism brought out this dark side in most of us. And egoism lets us drown in our misery instead of admitting we need help. But again, hold on kiasi. How about wale wadaku hungoja to run with the misery of people. Them who know even what is under your bed and can tell what you will wear tomorrow; they know your wardrobe after all right?

This neighborhood manenos shall be our topic sometime soon.

In the meantime, let me take you to my animal farm escapades. Remember when we had to pack and leave for Abjakistan at the wee hours of the morning? It seemed the gods were devoted to transforming my life. Tell me now, how you find a Gecko and a roach; a giant one for that matter, in your house. This happens within a week and you are all alone.

Entering my house is usually by a routine experience. I open the door, turn on the lights then do a thorough sweep of all the four walls. My landlady is a genius I tell you; she painted the walls cream and the ceiling white. Who in their right mind would dare try to hide along such brightness? My phobia for tiny crawling things is real – ensuring I spring clean weekly and chungulia kila mahali daily. Knowing my cordial relations with my bed, you know I can get the time.

“Kila mtu atauchukua mzigo wake mwenyewe.

Na kila mtu atoa, habari zake mwenyewe mbele,

…” I had sung and sung and prayed for a Good Samaritan to appear. I had tried over and over to bring myself to committing this murder.

Calm as daybreak, sure of his gait, my knight in shining armor was in shock when I asked him for help.

“Sasa, siunaishi hapa kwa hii plot?”

“Eeehhh, mbona wauliza?”

“Naneed help Fulani.”

“OOOOKKKKK. Uliza mama. Wewe waishi wapi?”

“Kule 5^th floor,” almost chocking in my words. It was a matter of life or death here. I had to grab the moment while it lasted.

“Kuna mende kwa nyumba yangu. Na ni kubwa, ile kubwa kabisa. Naogopa.”

“Kuna nini tena?”  Team mafisi, please tell your brother never to embarrass a lass again. I was hoping the earth would open and swallow me whole. Whoever seeks help in killing a roach? That night I did. It was either the roach or I, two of us would not share a roof no matter the circumstances. This is what we call situation critical.

The roach proudly wagged her antenna on my corridor wall, right above the kitchen entrance. My fear was, it would fly from almost the ceiling and land on me. Knowing how my voice tends to disappear on me when I need it the most, I was not going to take chances. It was during this struggle that I met him at the gate. We could agree somehow that the shaking in my voice and the look of imminent threat on my face, convinced him enough. He was going upstairs to help a sister.

Three minutes later and now five floors up, he committed murder – the roach was no more. Shh Shh. Watu wa animal protection, come I will direct you to the murder’s door. It wasn’t me. He was so full of himself after all, he made me angry.  He had killed a roach and rescued a sister from intermittent danger. But so, what? That is nothing to be full of yourself about.

With this undefined sense of pride, he granted me permission to knock at his door in case I ever need any more help.  Now, I am still stuck there. Who will ever need any more help? We had an agreement though, I would get a fumigation buddy.  All who responded, however, were not meeting my criteria. I mean, there’s checklist for you to be let into my abode. Tall dark, handsome… name it. We are still coming back to this point.

Tihihihi, my mother’s teaching had come to pass. “Girl, salimianga watu. You never know when you will need them.” True to her word. Lesson learned, I need to say hello to strangers more often. So, if you ever hear me say hello in a Rukagina ama them Githurai 45 Sacco buses, please understand me.

Until he knocked at my door again four days later. Considering where I was sitting, I saw him maneuver the stair and even prepared a narrative at the back of my mind, planning not to let him in. After all, I did not need him at this moment. Hahaha, how fast our human minds forget. Of course, in these days of female chauvinism and masochism, what girl would admit to her phobia.

Ten minutes after the knock, we had exchanged mobile numbers and he was sitting enjoying a glass of juice with cookies. He had come to just check on me; the first friend he too had made in this plot. And he brought with him a bag of goodies. Talk of some Toblerone chocolate and Red Diamond Merlot. These are the friends we want au sio? Ebu try then we compare notes – do not kill the roach, seek help. Then let us see how it goes.

Hakuna tena kutesa watu na harufu za spaghetti bolognese. Never! If a bean falls to the ground, we pick it up and share it among all of us. Just come and be my neighbor. The only condition is, be prepared for my call at 3:00 am, to murder a roach or chase a rat. And you have to respond kabla ‘nicatch’. That is the cost of friendship au?